Musings of a Mad Girl: The Image of Myself

[finding_wonderland]

I never draw myself.

Because what I draw is art and beautiful and if I'd do a self portait it'd not be art or beautiful.

No matter what anyone says.

It's not just that my eyes bleed constantly. Or that I'm missing a limb. I'm just...very plain. Unnoticeable. If it wasn't for my Sight, I bet no one would know who I am. 

Mr. Ben says I'd have an army of people asking for my hand if they knew I lived in the Library. I didn't laugh then. But I should have. Because, one, that would require me to leave the Library for longer amounts of time, and interact with people. And two, that wouldn't happen.

That girl, that came into Mr. Ben's store? Devlin was her name? She had it right. She was scared  of me. Or disgusted. And that's right. She's right, you know?

Mr. Ward said something like I was pretty. Or something. Maybe I heard him wrong.

But he's wrong if the thinks that. 

Everyone's wrong if they think I'm beautiful. I don't have eyes, but I don't need them to know. 

Basically, Book, I'm saying it simply.

I am plain. I am unextraordinary. I am ugly, disgusting, and worthless. 

I don't paint myself because it would be a waste of paint. 

Art is supposed to be beautiful, after all.